Joke collection [9]



Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.
I don’t think I can ever repay you.

What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.

Why was the little ink drop crying?
His mother was in the pen and he didn’t know how long the sentence would be.

So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II and she says : “Watch, Francis! With a wave of my hand, I can make every loyal subject go completely hysterical!” So she waves at the crowd and every loyal subject goes completely apeshit. So Francis tells her : “Well, Elizabeth, with a wave of my hand, I can give every Scotsman and Irishman eternal joy!” And she replies : “I’d like to see that!” …. So he slaps her.

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd.
They’ve left those kids a loan.

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be “saved” or you’ll “burn.”
Weird firemen.

A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what the deal was about:
“Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night”, the bartender answered. “But, if you miss you pay everyone else’s drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?”
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answers:
“Nah, the stakes are too high.”